Sweet Valley High #63: The New Elizabeth

Time elapsed in this book: 4 weeks

Length of their junior year: 4 years, 3 months, 1 week

Jessica’s love interest: Revenge

Entertainment rating: 6/10

We’ve had The New Jessica, and now we have The New Elizabeth! It’s only fair that each twin has their own reinvention book. This one isn’t quite as good, but it is amazing how quickly Liz became an expert in surfing. As someone who’s taken one surfing lesson, I can say it’s not as easy as she makes it seem. (Unrealism in Sweet Valley? Gasp!)

The cover: Liz with her permed hair, wearing a black and pink one-piece, holding a surfboard. Total beach read! Also totally inaccurate, as she should probably wear a wetsuit, even in California.

Liz is tired of people thinking she’s predictable and boring. She got a two-week perm, but people were mostly amused. She wants to really shock people! She buys a bunch of adventurous magazines for inspiration, then heads to a sports store. She tells them she wants to buy “some scuba gear or maybe a hang glider.” I laughed pretty hard at this! Liz is disappointed to hear that she’ll need to get certified to go scuba diving and she’s further disappointed to hear the price of these items. Before she leaves, she sees a sign for surf lessons at the Moon Beach Surf Club in Big Mesa that cost $7/hour. That she can afford, so surfing it is! Also, is this the origin of the Moon Beach Diner that’s in the Sweet Valley High TV show?? I think it might be!

At the surf shop, Liz is greeted by an employee named Sean Blake. He’s a senior at Big Mesa and says she’s won free surf lessons. Apparently he wants to prove that not only is he a great surfer but a great surf teacher. He told his friends that he’d give free surf lessons to the next person who walked in and that they’d place in the Moon Beach Surfing Competition at the end of the month. Sean says he’ll give her three afternoon lessons a week, starting on Tuesday. Sean’s friend, Laurie MacNeil, is friendly and encouraging to Liz, but internally she’s disappointed because Liz is hot. Apparently she and Sean went on one date awhile back and she’d hoped it would turn into more.

Meanwhile, Jess is dismayed that the entire school knows about her alter egos Magenta Galaxy and Daniella Fromage. She knows Caroline Pearce is the one who spread this around. Liz says that she thought Caroline had stopped gossiping, then says it’s not really a rumor since it’s true. Jess vows to get revenge!

Liz tells friends and family she’s doing a marine biology project so they’ll be surprised when she enters a surf competition. She goes to her first lesson and Sean flirts while teaching her. Sean demos how to ride a wave and does a “hang ten” where he curls his toes around the front end of the board. Laurie tells Liz that Sean is incredible. Liz asks if they’re dating. Laurie hesitates, then says sorta and that they’ve known each other for a long time. This is in no way convincing, but Liz buys it and thinks that since Sean has a girlfriend, she won’t have to worry about his flirting.

Jess finds out that Caroline dented her parents’ car and got a job at Unique Boutique to pay for the repair. She ropes Lila into her revenge plan: be an insufferable customer while Caroline’s working. She needs Lila to occasionally buy something so they don’t get kicked out.

Liz is somehow not sore despite her regular surfing lessons. I call BS, as I took a single surfing lesson and was exhausted and sore for days afterward. It is a WORKOUT. Sean tells her about the best surfboard he owns and asks if she wants to come over and see it or maybe come over and watch a movie. Another day, he takes her hand and holds onto it longer than necessary. Liz tells herself that he has a girlfriend so none of this means anything. Sure, Liz.

Sean buys Liz a surfboard charm and she’s thrilled. Then Sean tries to kiss her, and Liz is SHOCKED. Sean is confused and says he thought Liz liked him. Liz says she does like him but asks what about Laurie. Sean says he’s just friends with Laurie. Liz finally tells him she has a boyfriend and Sean feels like a jerk. He tells her to keep the charm, and Liz says she wants to keep taking surf lessons from him.

Jess visits Caroline at her job and “accidentally” spills a drink on Caroline’s shirt. Caroline asks if Jessica’s name is Magenta Galaxy. Jess is furious and tells Caroline’s boss that she’s being rude.

There’s a rare stormy day in Sweet Valley. Since Liz can’t go surfing, she invites a moody Todd over for a game of Scrabble. He says she’s barely around anymore and that even when they are together, she’s only thinking about her marine biology project. As far as Liz/Todd fights go, this one is pretty mild. They can do better than this!

Jess and Lila go to Unique Boutique and make purchases, then ask Caroline to help them carry it out to the car. She does so and gets sopping wet.

The storm subsides and Liz thinks it’s a great time to go surfing again! She takes the bus there, since Jess has the car. Sean cautions her that the sea is still rough, but Liz insists she can handle it. She tries to surf… and gets caught in a riptide! Everything goes black!

When Liz comes to, Sean is giving her mouth to mouth! He’s happy she’s back and gives her a little kiss on the nose, which is super weird for a “friend” to do. Sean checks her pupils and says she doesn’t have a concussion but that he’s going to drive her home. When he reaches her neighborhood, Liz spots Todd’s car in her driveway, so she has Sean drop her off at a neighbor’s house instead. Of course Todd sees this. The moment Liz goes inside, Todd makes an excuse and leaves.

Liz tries to tell Todd the driver was her research partner, but he points out that she had this guy drop her off at a different house. She says he’ll understand it all after her “marine biology project,” which is really the surf competition. She invites everyone she knows and encourages them to go to the surf competition that day, then walk over to the marine biology center. The prospect of watching a surf competition beforehand sells more people on going.

Jess goes to Unique Boutique by herself. Caroline is helpful and gives Jess a lot of clothes to try on. Jess tries them on, and then Caroline bursts into the dressing room to pick up the scattered clothes, telling Jess she’ll be back with more clothes for her. Jess realizes that Caroline’s taken her own clothes too! She’s stuck in the dressing room wearing next to nothing! She tries to call out for Caroline but hears Caroline quit, saying she’s earned all the money she needs. Caroline calls Jess “Magenta” and thanks her for stopping by, then leaves with Jessica’s clothes in hand. We unfortunately get no answers about how Jess gets herself out of this.

Liz practices surfing again and manages to hang ten! After only a month of lessons! She’s incredible! She has visions of winning the competition.

The day of the competition, Liz overhears Laurie talking to one of her friends. Apparently Laurie’s been secretly learning how to surf and was hoping that doing so would finally catch Sean’s attention. Liz has an idea…

Liz’s name is announced as the next competitor. Her friends on the beach are shocked and wonder if they heard the name right. They did! Liz is going to surf!!!! Liz catches a wave and rides it effortlessly at first, then pretends to lose her balance. She falls off. Sean is disappointed and says he thought she had it because. Liz says she had fun but that she isn’t sure if she’ll continue to surf. Very similar story to when she took up the recorder.

The next competitor is Laurie MacNeil. Sean is shocked, and Liz tells him that she thinks Laurie has been practicing all month. Laurie does a great job and Sean is thrilled! He races over to congratulate her. Liz is glad she threw the competition because it brought Sean and Laurie together. This makes zero sense, but I guess it’s the only way a Wakefield can lose a competition. Bill Chase approaches Liz and asks why she pretended to wipe out. She’s shocked he could tell, but I guess he’s a better surfer than Sean, who was totally fooled. Liz says she did it for love.

Up next: a new employee at Unique Boutique looks exactly like Tricia Martin! What does this mean for Steven and Cara??