Sweet Valley High #65: Trouble at Home

Time elapsed in this book: 4 weeks

Length of their junior year: 4 years, 5 months

Jessica’s love interest: Charlie

Entertainment rating: 5/10

I finished this book and immediately said to my husband, “That was great. This book was terrible.” He laughed and asked how it could be both. Clearly he doesn’t get Sweet Valley at all. It was both terrible to read (the Wakefield men are the worst) but the drama was HIGH.

On the cover, Steven has a denim-on-denim thing going on, and I don’t think I like it. On the other hand, I’m pretty sure I wore a vest similar to Jessica’s at some point and thought I looked cool. Liz looks like she’s high because wow is her expression blank.

Big news: Maria Santelli’s dad is running for mayor! Mr. Wakefield is helping with the campaign, which has made him a bit happier recently, although he still finds time to complain about a new money-hungry associate named Griffin Pierce. More big news: Mrs. Wakefield’s design firm is in the running to design the interior of the expanded mall!

Bad news: an unidentified source accuses Mr. Santelli of accepting bribes. Everyone figures this accusation means Mr. Santelli’s campaign is over. At school, Lila says she was going to invite Maria over to get to know her better but there’s no point anymore. Jessica and Amy nod understandingly. Such social climbers!

Also of note: Lila’s dad is buying her a video camera for her half-birthday. So it’s supposedly either been 6 months since book 11, when Lila had a birthday (which I clocked as like 3.5 years ago), or 6 months since book 42, when Lila had another birthday (which I clocked as almost 2 years ago).

Mr. Wakefield says $10k was deposited in Mr. Santelli’s account and he has no idea how it got there. The police arrest him, and Mr. Santelli asks Mr. Wakefield to represent him. Mr. Wakefield says he hasn’t handled a criminal case in fifteen years but of course he accepts because why not?! I’m actually surprised he said there’s a type of law he doesn’t practice.

Jess sees an ad for a phone hotline where teens can call and be connected to other teens. She doesn’t pay attention to the cost and dials in. I don’t fully understand how this works or how it’d be fun since it sounds like a conference call where everyone talks at the same time. One of the teens on the line introduces himself as Charlie and says he lives in nearby Riverdale (…where?). Jess thinks Charlie sounds hot.

Mrs. Wakefield’s firm asks her to head up the group running the mall project! She’s excited. Mr. Wakefield frowns and asks if it’s a good idea for her to work long hours since he’ll already be busy with Mr. Santelli’s case. Naturally, he thinks his stuff takes priority.

Mrs. Wakefield reminds the family that they’re going to her firm’s big social event that Saturday. Mr. Wakefield says he can’t because he’s going to spend all weekend prepping for Mr. Santelli’s trial, which is scheduled to start Monday. I don’t know how the legal system works in Sweet Valley, but I’m pretty sure Mr. Wakefield is already failing as a lawyer if his client’s trial starts less than a week after the arrest and he doesn’t even think about asking for a delay (a “continuance,” to put it in legal terms that I’m sure Mr. Wakefield doesn’t understand).

Jess continues to call the teen hotline to flirt with Charlie. There are usually the same teens on the line, which makes me wonder how busy this line is if Jess is always able to get into the same group chat. At some point a new guy comes on the line and asks if it really costs one dollar a minute. Jess is shocked but hopes her parents are too busy arguing with each other to care.

Mr. Wakefield continues to be terrible. He tells Mrs. Wakefield that they haven’t had a family dinner in ages and that when she is home, she’s working. As if he has any room to talk.

The next week, Liz makes spaghetti and meatballs for dinner. Mr. Wakefield is mopey when he gets home because the judge suspended the trial due to lack of evidence so he can’t fully clear Mr. Santelli’s name. Not sure how this went to trial in the first place but okay. This leads Mr. Santelli to drop out of the race, and of course Mr. Wakefield blames himself for that because the world revolves around him. Liz realizes that she overcooked the spaghetti, and Mr. Wakefield tells her to just heat up a frozen meal. Mrs. Wakefield finally gets home with a bottle of champagne in hand. Her firm won the bid! She’s going to be in charge of the big new project!! Everyone but Mr. Wakefield is happy for her. He tells her about his bad day and then says he’s glad Alice got what she wanted and that it probably means she’ll be away from home even more. This guy is the WORST. At this point, I’m rooting for her to leave him.

Another night, Mrs. Wakefield brings home Chinese food for dinner. I want to believe that Mrs. Wakefield picked up Chinese food as a dig because in the past her husband has claimed to either be “allergic to Chinese food” or that he “doesn’t like Chinese food” (although he’s also eaten Chinese food), but it appears she’s actually just trying to be helpful. So that’s a little disappointing. I wanted some passive aggression from her! On a related note, I’ve decided to start keeping track of Ned Wakefield and Chinese food on the Todd Punches & More page.

Jess gets Charlie’s home number (finally!) and calls him to arrange an in-person date. She suggests that weekend but his brother will be in town.

Mr. Wakefield’s legal fraternity, Psi Epsilon, is having a family dinner at Tosci’s, a new Italian restaurant in town. Mrs. Wakefield thinks attending will cheer him up. When they go, however, people compliment Mrs. Wakefield about her project (it’s been in the newspaper) and Mr. Wakefield can’t stand her being in the spotlight. Then his new colleague comes over and says he’s surprised Mr. Wakefield came after the judge suspended the Santelli case. Mr. Wakefield gets mad and tells Alice that her encouragement to go out has made him look like a fool. I don’t think he needs help looking like a fool, but he storms off.

Hank Patman (Bruce’s dad) and James Knapp (a political consultant for Mr. Santelli’s campaign) drop by. They say they were backing Mr. Santelli’s campaign. Now that he’s dropped out, they want Mr. Wakefield to run for mayor!

Mr. and Mrs. Wakefield argue more about how she’s busy with work. She says she’s working extra hard so she can still go away to Lake Tahoe next weekend for their annual family trip.

Jess calls Charlie and mentions that she’s going on a family trip. He says he was going to suggest they get together that weekend but alas, another time. It’s almost like he doesn’t want to meet…

Mrs. Wakefield’s assistant, Julia, calls the house. Liz talks to her and says she hopes that work won’t interrupt their family vacation. Julie asks if she could get the number to the inn where they’re staying, just in case something important comes up. Liz doesn’t think it’s a good idea but decides Julia can be trusted.

While in Lake Tahoe, Jess says she overheard her dad talking about running for mayor. Mrs. Wakefield is shocked he hadn’t mentioned anything, and Mr. Wakefield of course uses this as an excuse to whine about how she’s always busy.

Mrs. Wakefield gets a call from her office. Mr. Wakefield says she’d promised to not tell anyone where they’d be, and she says she didn’t. Liz admits it was her fault.

Their last day, her office calls again. Mrs. Wakefield find out her firm’s computer (a new thing they’re using!) went down and they lost everything. Mr. Wakefield shows zero concern and asks if they can get on with their day. She says no, she needs to leave immediately to go over the designs. She says she’s only leaving a few hours before the rest of the family so it’s not a big deal. Mr. Wakefield is furious and says she doesn’t have any respect for her family and that if she leaves now, she’s leaving him and their family. Mrs. Wakefield is rightfully pissed and trots away.

Up next: What’s going to happen to the Wakefield family?!