Sweet Valley High #70: Ms. Quarterback

Time elapsed in this book: 2 weeks

Length of their junior year: 4 years, 9 months, 2 weeks

Jessica’s love interest: Danny Porter

Entertainment rating: 7/10

For all of Sweet Valley’s flaws, they do some things well. In this book, we have Claire Middleton, who wants to play on the SVH football team. She’s allowed to try out! On the other hand, Terri Adams turns into an insecure, jealous girlfriend, and Amy Sutton is against girls playing football. So, win some, lose most.

It’s the day before the final football game in the season before the big match again Big Mesa. I knew I was right when I said that the football game in That Fatal Night was not the last game of the season! Not sure if we’re in a new season/year or if it’s a continuation of the same year or if we’ve traveled back in time and all of these things are somehow happening all at once. Time is a construct in Sweet Valley. We’re told Ken temporarily went blind “a couple of months ago,” if that helps clarify the timeline at all. For me, it does not.

Everyone’s talking about quarterback Scott Trost, who flunked another history test. He’s now on academic probation and getting kicked off the football team! The current team lineup will play that weekend’s game against Palisades but there will be tryouts for the varsity quarterback position on Monday after school.

Liz interviews new student Claire Middleton for The Oracle. Claire gets excited talking about football but is otherwise tight lipped. Is she hiding something?!?

Everyone assumes Ken will try out for quarterback since he can see again. His girlfriend, Terri, worries that he’ll have less time for her if he’s back on the team. In front of Winston, Terri says that Ken’s vision still gets blurry and he sometimes blacks out. Ken is embarrassed and Terri wishes she hadn’t said anything because he’d told her this in confidence.

After the game against Palisades, Jess chats with Claire, who wants to talk about the game. This impresses Jess at first, but then Claire says it’s sexist to be a cheerleader and that all they do is jump around and scream. Jess is understandably offended.

A bunch of students sign up to try out for quarterback, including Ken and…. Claire! A lot of people support Claire, but there’s also a vocal contingent against a female quarterback. She and Ken are clearly the top two contenders. Ken marvels at how fast Claire is, and Terri gets upset that he’s complimenting another girl. It’s so disappointing to see Terri act like this since she’d seemed so much more confident when we first met her. Liz asks Claire if she had a mentor who helped her with football. Claire clams up and leaves.

The cheerleaders talk about the football tryouts. Amy doesn’t like a girl trying out for quarterback because that’s the kind of person Amy is. Other cheerleaders support Claire. Jessica tells the cheerleaders what Claire said about cheerleading, and they’re all offended. They come up with a personalized cheer for her: “Give us a clap! Give us a twirl! Give us a quarterback who’s not a girl!”

Terri sees a large photo in Claire’s locker of a handsome football player with the inscription “To Claire–with all my love, Ted.” What a weird photo to hang up if you don’t want anyone to know about your life. Claire, who looks like she’s been crying, slams her locker shut. Terri wonders who Ted is.

The tryouts are down to Ken, Claire, and some guy named Dave Pollock. Obviously, Dave isn’t going to win. Terri sees Ken put his hands in front of his eyes and says she can’t let him play if there’s something wrong with his eyes. Ken tells her to quit mothering him, and Terri assumes he’s going to break up with her because he’s in love with Claire. Terri seriously needs to get a grip!!

Terri finds the cheerleaders and tells them about the photo in Claire’s locker. They don’t know what to make of this since no one knows who Ted is but decide to use it anyway.

Liz tells her brother about the tryouts. Steven wonders if Claire is related to a football player at SVU named Ted Middleton, who died from a brain tumor. He heard that the family moved to Sweet Valley.

At the scrimmage, the cheerleaders perform a cheer for Claire. It goes like this:

“Who wants a guy when a girl like Claire can throw the ball from here to there? Who wants a guy when a girl gives more? She steals the ball, she makes the score. Who needs a guy when a girl instead can play like Claire? We know about Ted!”

It’s a weird cheer and kinda farfetched to believe that the cheerleaders think something like this would bother Claire, but it lands like they hoped. Claire yells that she quits and storms off.

Liz and Steven ask Jess how they could be so insensitive. Jess says they figured Ted was a guy Claire had a crush on. She says that if anyone deserves blame, it’s Terri because she told them to use the name Ted. Liz confronts Terri, who is shocked to find out the truth.

Terri apologizes to Claire. She says she was jealous and thought Ted was an ex-boyfriend. Claire says there’s nothing to be jealous of because Ken is crazy about Terri. Terri tells Claire she’s an amazing football player and should ask for a second chance on the team.

Terri explains all to Ken. He reassures her there’s nothing to worry about. Their relationship is back to normal!

Coach Schultz tells Claire that her outburst played right into peoples’ stereotypes about girls being emotional but admits he might have done the same thing if their roles were reversed. Ken lands first-string quarterback. Claire is second-string!

At the big game against Big Mesa, the cheerleaders perform a cheer just for Ken: “Second and ten! That’s our Ken! See him score? There will be more!” Now that’s a cheer! Simple and to the point. But then Ken’s vision starts to go blurry! His passes are off! Big Mesa takes the lead!

Ken tells the coach that he’s blowing it for the team. The coach puts Claire in! She scores a touchdown! With a minute to go, she throws another perfect pass for a victory touchdown! The Gladiators win 21-14! The cheerleaders perform a new cheer for Claire: “Who needs a guy when you’ve got Claire? She runs, she scores, she gets you there! Of all the heroes, she’s the best! The greatest player in the west!”

Up next: Will Jessica land a spot on a talk show?