Time elapsed in this book: 2-3 months. Which basically brings us to May in the school year.
Jessica’s love interests: Danny Stauffer, Bill Chase
Entertainment factor: 14/10. This book was incredible!!
A few years ago, a good friend of mine found some SVH books from her childhood and gave them to me (thanks again, Heather!). In her copy of Dear Sister, she’d signed her name a half dozen times, apparently wanting to ensure that this book was HERS and that no one tried to steal it! She claims she’d been “practicing her signature.” No shame from me: I get it, this book is a gem. I wouldn’t want anyone to steal my copy either!
This book was even better rereading as an adult than when I first read it as a kid. Absolute perfection, from the amazing cover of Jess clutching a black and white portrait of Liz, to the fact that the back cover blurb (wondering how Todd and Jess will survive if Liz never wakes up from her coma) makes it sound like she stays in a coma forever when she really wakes up in the first chapter. That’s when the real entertainment begins!
We open where the last book left off, with Liz in a coma after getting into a motorcycle accident with Todd. Jess is in the hospital room, practically inconsolable, and the doctor tells her that although he’ll try to help with Liz’s recovery, it’s really up to Jess. He says that Jess needs to talk to Liz because while doctors help keep people alive with machines, they can’t will them to want to return; that’s Jessica’s responsibility. How kind of him, putting the onus of Liz’s recovery on a sixteen year old girl. Jess starts talking to Liz and telling her how much she’s missed and how guilty Jess feels because she didn’t pick Liz up from the party where she got on Todd’s motorcycle. Liz doesn’t wake up. Jess stars berating Liz and telling her how selfish she’s being by not waking up. The doctor reappears and tells Jess this isn’t the kind of talk he had in mind; he meant she should just talk normally to her sister. Jess starts reminiscing about the good old times (like when she tried to steal Todd from Liz and when Liz forgave Jess for spreading rumors about Enid) and compliments Liz on her writing talents. She begs Liz to wake up… and a moan comes from Liz’s previously lifeless body! Jess urges the rest of her family to come into the hospital room. Liz’s eyes flutter open and she says, “Jessica!”
Jess is eager to chat with Liz again, but Liz is super emotional. She says she doesn’t want anyone to see her looking like this. Jess offers her some dry shampoo, which Liz wrinkles her nose at, and tries to cheer Liz up by telling her Todd is coming by for a visit. Liz is even less enthused about that. Jess spends fifteen minutes working on Liz’s hair and makeup, after which Liz complains and then adds a lot more makeup. She also complains about the outfit Jess brought her to wear instead of the hospital gown: Liz’s favorite sleep shirt with the UCLA logo on it. I’m starting to wonder if my own desire to go to UCLA for college stemmed from internalizing the message from this series that UCLA is second only to Sweet Valley University. Liz grumbles that this outfit is okay for a visit from Todd but she wishes Jess had given her something sexier. Jess brings Todd into Liz’s room. Todd is overjoyed to see her and apologetic about the whole accident, while Liz is unenthusiastic and seems almost bored with him. Liz tells him she’s tired so he’ll leave. In the hallway, he tells Jess that Liz seemed different and unhappy. Jess chides him, saying that Liz literally just came out of a coma and that he needs to cut her some slack. Then comes the sound of Liz’s laughter from her room as she talks with the doctor, and Jess thinks that if she didn’t know better, she’d think that Liz was flirting.
Three weeks after the accident, Liz is released from the hospital and told that she has to rest at home for two weeks before returning to school. Liz is bored while this time goes by and tells Jess she can’t wait to be done with soap operas and game shows. Jess suggests that Liz read, since she’s always said she wants more time to read, but Liz wrinkles her nose and says reading is boring. Liz suggests that after her rest period is over, they throw a party and invite every guy they know. Jess starts listing girls to invite, and Liz asks why they should invite any girls. As Liz puts it, “Can’t the Wakefield sisters handle all those guys by themselves?” Jess is shocked and says they can’t do that. Liz asks why not, and Jess is momentarily speechless because this is actually the exact kind of party she’s always wanted to have (a detail that I love!). But then common sense catches up to her, and Jess says that if they don’t invite any girls, they’ll never be invited to another party by another girl and guys hardly ever throw parties. Liz grudgingly agrees to invite girls. Jess notices that Liz has traded her UCLA sleep shirt for a “sexy satin nightgown.” Jess asks if Todd has seen her in that because it’d make his temperature shoot straight up, and Liz gets huffy and says no, he has not and no, he will not. The doorbell rings and Jess says that must be Todd coming over for a visit. Liz tells Jess to tell him she’s too tired for visitors. Jess is skeptical but then thinks Liz wouldn’t lie, she really does look tired.
Todd doesn’t believe Jess when she relays the news and asks if Jess has noticed anything different about Liz. Jess assures him that Liz is fine. He says to tell Liz he’ll stop by tomorrow, and Jess decides to lie to him and says their parents have decided she shouldn’t have visitors until she returns to school. Todd again questions if everything is okay with Liz, and Jess assures him that everything will be normal once Liz is back at school. We get this amazing exchange:
“You know how much she likes school. She’ll probably have all the work made up and a dozen stories written for The Oracle before I finish that one stupid book report on Moby Dick. I mean, Todd, who really cares about whales?” Jessica asked in annoyance.
Todd did, but he let the comment slide by.
Apparently the report Todd did in the previous book about Save the Whales really made a lasting impact on him!
The day of Liz’s return to school arrives! Jess walks in on Liz admiring herself in the mirror while wearing a new green minidress. Jess asks where Liz got it, and Liz says that their mom bought it for her in celebration of her returning to school and that Jess is not allowed to borrow it. Jess thinks that her own jeans and shirt are dull by comparison. They drive to school, and Liz trots off immediately. Enid rushes over to the car and gives Jess a huge hug, welcoming her back. Jess tells Enid to back off and that she’s got the wrong twin. The real Liz is hurrying across the school and drops into the Oracle office before classes start. Mr. Collins is there and thinks she’s Jess. Liz teases him about not being able to tell the twins apart because she’s Liz! He says she looks good, and she tells Mr. Collins that he looks good too. She says that the hospital was okay because there were some hot doctors and interns and that, in case Mr. Collins is interested, there were some hot nurses too! A little misogyny mixed in with this otherwise entertaining scene, since the implication is that women can only be nurses.
The rest of the day goes by and other teachers mistake Liz for Jess. Liz is having a blast; Jess is having an identity crisis. The only thing that gets Jess through the week is thinking about the pool party they’re throwing on Saturday. Before the party, Jess goes to the beach and runs into Todd. Todd says he assumed Liz would be at the beach too, and Jess tells him that Liz is resting up at home for the party. Jess goes home to an empty house; apparently Ned and Alice are gone the rest of the day and evening but still gave the twins permission to throw a party, and Liz is at the mall. She calls to tell Jess she’s doing something important and asks Jess to get things started.
Jess is annoyed at having been tricked into doing all the setup for the party but acknowledges that she’s done the same to Liz many times, so she gets to work. She makes a party dip with onion soup mix (which totally gave me flashbacks to making the same dip many times in college!), sets out food, cleans the pool, etc. She finally finishes and goes inside to clean up, only to discover that Liz is in the shower! Apparently she’d come home and skipped out on the rest of the prep work! Liz is unconcerned.
The party gets underway. Everyone crowds around Liz, who’s wearing a “brand-new, very revealing bikini.” Liz treats all the male guests to her dazzling smile, dances with every guy there, and talks non-stop while the guys are mesmerized. Todd remarks to Jess that Liz seems to be feeling better. Jess is annoyed because she has to do all the work to keep the food and drinks stocked while Liz takes all the attention! After Jess catches Liz in full flirt mode with Ken Matthews, Todd asks Jess if Liz seems any different to her. Jess says no, and Todd calls her out on this BS, saying that Jess is miffed because she’s having to do all the work at the party while Liz steals the spotlight. Jess tries to tell herself that Todd is wrong, but she knows he’s not. She acknowledges, to herself, that Liz is doing a lot of things that Jessica usually does.
Jess runs into Cara, who makes a crack about Liz being “Miss Butterfly of the Year.” Jess snaps back a quick retort. Cara says she didn’t mean anything by the remark, she’s just seen Jess herself in action before and… Jess is even angrier by this. Cara stammers for awhile longer and calls Liz a flirt, which Jessica also denies, and then they part. Jess is alarmed by the fact that Cara might be right and that Liz is “out-Jessica-ing her.” Jess can’t let this happen!
When the party finally ends, Jess decides she needs to talk to Liz. Liz says she feels a headache coming on and wants to lie down. Jess immediately gets concerned and tells Liz she should definitely lie down. Jess starts cleaning up. It isn’t until she’s almost finished putting things away that she realizes Liz only felt sick at times convenient for her to skip out on all the work for the party! Jess recognizes these tricks because they’re ones she herself has used in the past. She wonders, Has Elizabeth turned into me?
Later that week, Jess is still stressing out but doesn’t know who to talk to or what to say. Liz comes home and Jess suggests that perhaps Liz slow down a bit. Liz brushes that off and says that for years, Jess has told Liz that her friends are dull and Liz finally realizes it so she’s ready to live life in the fast lane! At dinner, Alice asks how school is going and Liz says it’s fine. Jessica about chokes on her food, since everyone but their parents knows that Liz is in trouble at school. That’s when Alice and Ned share more news: their friends, the Percys, are going to Europe for two weeks for some computer conference, so their twelve-year-old twin daughters are going to stay with the Wakefields during this time. “Won’t that be fun?” Ned asks. Sure, seems like things are normal enough at home that bringing another set of twins in makes sense. Especially since Ned and Alice will be the ones taking care of them, right? Spoiler alert: Ned and Alice check out of this duty almost as quickly as they’ve checked out of parenting Jess and Liz. The Percys’ twins, Joan and Jean, arrive half an hour later. So glad everyone had time to process this change before it happened. Joan and Jean settle into Steven’s room, since it’s available while he’s at college, and then Ned and Alice leave to play bridge with their friends. Like I said, they check out immediately.
Jess tries to convince Liz having the Percy twins around will at least be fun. Liz doesn’t buy it but agrees that they can work together to help with them. Jess tells Liz about her plans for the evening: Jess has decided to give Danny Stauffer a second chance (love her phrasing on this, since she’s the one who ditched him in favor of Enid’s college-aged cousin Brian) and he’s taking her to the drive in. Jess says that the front seat of Danny’s car reclines and does she have to paint Liz a picture? I’m not sure why they want to pay for a drive in instead of just parking at Miller’s Point, since it’s clear they’re just going to be making out the whole time. While Jess gets ready, Liz quickly changes into a new miniskirt and blouse, then goes to see the Percy twins. She tells them that both she and Jess have dates that night but Jess is going to the movies and will take them with her. Liz then disappears without a word to Jess.
Jess puts on black pants and a blouse and admires herself in the mirror. She tells herself it’s a good thing she lost two pounds, since Danny wouldn’t want to “put his arms around a blimpo.” Yikes. Jess goes downstairs to find Joan and Jean in the living room. They tell her that Liz left, but not before telling them that Jess would take them with her to the movies. Jess is livid!! She briefly considers her options. She thinks about hiring a sitter but she doesn’t have the money. She asks if the twins have stayed home alone before and they say no.
The doorbell rings. Danny has arrived! Jess lets him in and he brings her in for a sizzling kiss that makes Jessica’s worries drain away. She briefly forgets about her problems, but Danny notices their audience and says maybe they should wait to make out until they get to the drive in. That’s Jessica’s opening! She tells him there’s been a change of plans for the night and that the twins have to come to the drive in with them. Danny is absolutely against the idea, saying, “I told you what I had planned for tonight. There is no way I want an audience. I’m leaving.” I need to know details of what he had planned! Jess begs him not to go and says it’ll be fine, Joan and Jean will be in the backseat while Jess and Danny are in the front seat. Jess says she’ll make it up to him any way he wants and Danny agrees, so they head out.
Three hours later, Jess, Joan, and Jean come home. Jess had a miserable time. Ned and Alice are home and tell Jess they saw her note and that it was very thoughtful of her to take the twins to a movie. Jess is angry and tells them the evening was a disaster, but her parents aren’t especially sympathetic and tell her that Joan and Jean are their guests so it’s their responsibility to make them feel wanted and comfortable. Ned and Alice need to heed their own words.
The next morning, Alice tells Jess she wants to talk to her about Liz. Jess is relieved that her mom seems to have noticed the changes in Liz too, but Alice is as clueless as ever. Alice just wanted to say that she’s grateful Jess hasn’t complained about their parents paying more attention to Liz lately and that Alice doesn’t want Jess to resent Liz because of it.
At school, Liz blows off Enid and Todd and goes to flirt with Ken Matthews. Ken has recently started dating Susan Stewart, but Liz doesn’t care. She wants who she wants. She tries to get Ken to invite her to Friday’s basketball game, but he doesn’t take the bait and she saunters off. Yes, apparently in Sweet Valley, you need a date to sports games, not just to dances and parties.
Liz meets with Mrs. Green, the school guidance counselor. Mrs. Green says Liz is behind in her classes. Apparently all the teachers expect Liz to make up the work she’d missed while in the hospital and on bed rest, and she hasn’t finished it yet. Seems a little unfair, since that’s literally 5 weeks worth of schoolwork and she’s only been back for like two weeks, but we all know time works differently in Sweet Valley. Liz says she’ll get to it and that she hasn’t finished because she gets dizzy spells. After this meeting, Liz finds Winston and complains about it all. She says if she didn’t have to write a term paper on the Punic Wars, she could do the rest. Winston offers to let her see his paper, which he got an A+ on, so she can see his sources. Liz then takes his paper, changes a few sentences, and turns it in as her own. Later, Mr. Collins talks to Liz, saying he’s heard that she’s in danger of failing three classes. She says concerns are being blown out of proportion. Then Liz writes up her Eyes and Ears gossip column for the Oracle and adds a tidbit about Susan Stewart dating a stranger, asking if Ken knows about it.
It’s the big basketball game against Big Mesa! Todd is unable to focus, thinking about Liz and watching her in the stands, sitting next to Ken (Susan is babysitting that night and not there). The Big Mesa players taunt Todd about his obvious girl problems, and Todd gets into a shoving match with the center for the other team, leading him to be ejected from the game. Coach Horner talks to him a bit after the game, and Todd feels like he needs to get the bottom of whatever’s going on with Liz.
At school the next week, Jess hears from multiple girls who are angry about Liz trying to steal their boyfriends. Lila’s mad Liz tried to steal Tim (who?), Enid says Liz made a play for George, Susan’s mad that Liz is publicly going after Ken… Mr. Collins confronts Liz about lying about Susan in her gossip column so she could steal Ken. Liz tries to cry her way out of the situation, but Mr. Collins isn’t having it and says she’s off the Oracle. Liz tells him not to hold his breath waiting for her to return.
Liz’s day gets worse. When she gets home, her parents confront her about the term paper she cheated on. Apparently the guidance counselor called them about it. Alice turns to Jessica and asks why she didn’t say anything to them, since she must have known! How is this Jessica’s fault?!? More terrible parenting.
After school the next day, Jess finds herself talking to Mr. Collins about how Liz has changed. He tells her he’s noticed it too but that he doesn’t know what to do. Jess goes home and finds Todd sitting on their front steps. Apparently he came over to try to talk to Liz, but she’s not there. Jess and Todd talk briefly and then Liz comes roaring up to the house on Max Dellon’s motorcycle! Liz goes inside to change, then leaves with Max again on his motorcycle, heading to the beach. Todd panics and follow Liz there in his Datsun. At a red light, he pulls Liz off the motorcycle and dumps her in his car. She’s furious, accusing him of kidnapping her, and he says he’s trying to help.
Saturday morning, Jean and Joan wake Jessica up, saying that Alice told them Jess would drive them to their flute audition. Apparently, the night before, both Alice and Ned realizes they had plans for Saturday: Alice has some appointment and Ned has to be in district court. I didn’t think courts were open on Saturdays, so this sounds like a bald-faced lie to me, but he isn’t the brightest lawyer and they’re not the best parents, so who knows. They’d decided that since Liz is grounded due to her school situation, Jess can drive the twins to the audition. How nice of them to not even check with her or tell her themselves before taking off (they gave the Percy twins a short note to give to Jess). Jess is furious, especially since Danny had invited her to the beach that afternoon, but she’s hopeful that she can do both.
Jess drives them to the audition, which takes about an hour, and then twins want her to come in with them. It’s amazing to see how not independent the Percy twins are at twelve years old versus the number of independent adventures Jess and Liz had when they themselves were twelve, as featured in the Twins series. I suppose, in hindsight, a lot of their independence stems from the terrible parenting from Ned and Alice. Anyway, the auditions happen, although only after five hours of waiting for their names to be called. Jess tries to race home, but she gets stopped for speeding. After getting a ticket, Jess speeds over to the beach, hoping to still catch Danny, but when they get there, Jean points out that Danny has his arm around some other girl in a white bikini. Jess declares she’s not wasting any more time on that jerk and pulls out of the parking space, crashing into the fender of another car. It’s the last straw for Jess and she breaks down in tears.
That weekend, Lila throws a party. She supposedly never throws one without a theme and decided to combine two of her favorites for this one: a costume party and a “pickup party,” in which everyone comes single and picks up whomever they can. Uhh, what? How did I miss this bizarre party description when I was a kid?? It’s noted that a lot of kids go to these parties thinking they have a boyfriend or girlfriend but then find themself single by the end of the night, while others who want to get rid of their partner use these parties as an opportunity to do so. So much WTF here, but I’m loving it.
Ned and Alice agree Liz can go to the party, even though she’s grounded, so the twins dress as matadors and head out. Party goers have a hard time telling them apart at first, but then Liz starts flirting so much that everyone knows who’s who. Bruce starts dancing with Liz, thinking she’s Jessica, then remembers the rumors he’s heard about Liz acting different and realizes she’s actually Liz! The two of them sneak off behind a palm tree and Bruce pulls out a flask. Liz takes some gulps and Bruce tells her to slow down. They end up making out in the shadows, then dance together. Jess pulls Liz away and asks if she realizes who she’s dancing with. Liz says yes, Bruce Patman, and isn’t he wonderful? Lila comments to Jess that sometimes her pickup parties even surprise her because she’d never have expected Liz and Bruce to become an item!
As the evening goes on, Bruce is more and more intrigued because Liz has never been interested in him. He asks if she wants to go to his dad’s club with him down at the beach. I’m pretty sure this is the only mention in this series about Bruce’s dad owning a club. They head out. When they arrive at the Driftwood Club, Bruce suggests they have their own party in the car instead of going inside the club. Liz says she wants wine because wine makes her feel so good. You know Liz isn’t herself when she wants to (gasp!) drink.
“Have some wine, my sweet Liz.” He reached behind his seat and pulled out an already open bottle, as well as a paper cup. Filling the cup, he handed it to her, then took a swig from the bottle.
I love the image of Bruce driving around with half bottles of wine and paper cups in his car, just in case they’re needed. He suggests they take the wine down to the beach, along with a blanket from his trunk…
Before Bruce can finish his thoughts, the door to his Porsche opens and Todd yanks Bruce out of the car. Todd punches Bruce, a punch so intense that Bruce is knocked out cold in the driveway! How is Todd this good at punching people?? He takes Liz over to his car and says he’s taking her home. Liz calls him a party pooper and then passes out. I guess they just left Bruce unconscious on the pavement.
Later, at home, Alice and Ned confront Jessica. They found out about the speeding ticket and the accident she was in and are not happy. Jess tries to defend herself, and then Joan and Jean walk in. Jess assumes they’re going to seal her fate, but to her surprise, the Percy twins come to her defense! They say Jess couldn’t have been speeding because they weren’t carsick and that radar guns can be wrong, then say that the other car was more at fault in the accident because Jessica starting backing out first! Jess thanks the twins for coming to her defense. They say they’re sorry they were trouble for Jess and thank her for taking them to the movies, since they had a blast at the drive in, especially since there were people making out there that they could watch!
At school, Bill Chase asks a miserable Todd if he can ask out Liz, then proceeds to do so for Saturday night. Liz agrees. Later that night, she’s on the phone to Bruce Patman, telling him she liked having two guys fight over her but wishes he’d been the winner. Bruce invites him to his family’s beach house on Saturday and she agrees. Liz leaves with Bruce before Bill comes over on Saturday, so Jess decides to have some fun for herself and disguises herself as Liz before heading out with Bill.
At the Patman’s beach house, Bruce suggests they go skinny dipping but Liz asks for a tour of the place. Bruce says sure, they’ll cool down later, and starts kissing her. Liz is into it but doesn’t want to be rushed. He starts giving her a tour of the place and pulls her onto the white couch in the living room to make out again. Then we get the absolutely most scandalous scene in the entirety of the Sweet Valley High series (no joke):
“You like this, don’t you Liz?” He let one hand slide lightly onto her breast, waiting to see if she would protest.
“That feels so good, Bruce.” Elizabeth sighed and ran her fingers through his dark hair, then pulled him closer.
I mean, whoa. WHOA. The word “breast.” The fact that Bruce puts his hand there. The fact that Liz lets him. This scene!!
They make their way upstairs to the master bedroom, kissing the whole time. Bruce says he’ll be right back, he’s going to get the wine from downstairs, and disappears.
Brief interlude before we get too riveted by the Liz/Bruce action: Jess is on her date with Bill and tells him he likes Jessica, not Liz. He assures her that he’s only into her, into Liz. Jess triumphantly reveals that he does like Jess because she is Jess!
Back to Bruce and Liz. Liz is on the bed, waiting for Bruce to return. She stands up and trips on the rug, hitting her head on a nearby table as she falls. Suddenly, she’s confused. Where is she? How did she get there? She turns on the light and doesn’t recognize the room. Footsteps come up the stairs, and Bruce appears with a wine bottle and two glasses. Liz asks what she’s doing there. Bruce thinks she’s playing a game and holds out a glass of wine. Liz panics and asks where they are and how she got there. Bruce says she’s been coming onto him all week. Liz doesn’t believe it and claims he brought her there against his will, asking if this is how he gets girls. Bruce gets annoyed and says she owes him what he was promised and that if she doesn’t, he’ll tell the whole school about it. He tries to kiss her and Liz bites his lip! He cries out from the pain. Liz tells him to go ahead and tell people whatever he wants because she’s got a story to tell too and he looks like a coward in it! She runs away, runs outside, and runs into Todd, who’s walking morosely by himself along the beach. He sees that she’s back to being herself again and they share a powerful kiss.
Notes:
This is the first book that gives us Todd’s basketball nickname of “Whizzer” Wilkins. Apparently he got this name due to his “sure shooting eye and control under pressure.”