Time elapsed in this book: 2 weeks
Length of their junior year: 2 years, 1 month
Jessica’s love interest: None
Entertainment rating: 7/10
This could easily be called Romeo and Juliet: The Sweet Valley High Edition. Maria Santelli and Michael Harris are secretly dating; their families are feuding and have forbidden the two to see each other. To prove how in love they are, they get engaged! But is this a good idea? Of course not, but it takes them a while to figure that out. It’s another book about minor SVH characters, but it’s a decent one overall, despite Michael being a complete dud.
The cover: Michael looks like a less hot version of Bruce Patman, and Maria’s waist seems way too thin. They appear to be about 30 years old, and both their hair and their clothes confirm that this is the 80’s. I don’t dislike the cover, but it’s not especially appealing either. It looks like they’re performing Romeo and Juliet with a set design from the 1980’s.
The school is buzzing with the news that Maria and Michael are engaged! Jess thinks it’s utterly romantic. Liz thinks they’re too young. Enid thinks Maria has too many commitments right now, since Maria is organizing a summer project for kids and is helping Winston with his run for to be the Student Council PTA representative; Enid doesn’t think Maria will have time to do any of this if she gets married. I’m not sure why Enid thinks you suddenly lack free time when you get married, and I’m also not sure why everyone assumes they’re getting married immediately. Liz talks to Jeffrey about it while they lay in a hammock together with Prince Albert, who’s now inexplicably a golden retriever puppy instead of a golden Labrador puppy like he was when the Wakefields got him in the last book. I remembered him as a golden retriever, so I was actually surprised in the last book to find out he was a lab; we’ll see if he goes back to being a lab in future books. Who needs consistency?! Anyway, Jeffrey says he thinks about his future sometimes but isn’t planning to get married anytime soon. He then starts kissing Liz, which disturbs Prince Albert and makes them smile.
Jess goes to cheerleading practice and gets the full story from Maria. She says that her dad and Michael’s dad used to be business partners and their families were really close. Four years ago, the partnership soured and Maria and Michael were told they’d never see the other family again. A few months ago, Maria and Michael were paired up to work on a project for the film society (no clue what this is) and fell in love. Their parents found out about this and forbid them to continue seeing each other…. and obviously, when a parent forbids their teen from doing something, things always work out well. Michael proposed to Maria at Secca Lake, and the rest is history! Maria takes off her ring when she goes home so her parents don’t know about the engagement yet, but she hopes to tell them soon since one of the reasons they got engaged was to prove to their parents that they’re serious about each other.
After practice, Michael picks up Maria. She tells him in a husky voice how good it is to see him. How dare someone other than Todd speak in a husky voice! That is Todd’s trademark! Maria tells Michael that the other cheerleaders couldn’t believe they’re engaged, and Michael’s a bit annoyed that she told people. I’m not sure what the point of getting engaged was if he doesn’t want anyone else to ever know. Maria agrees with my assessment. Michael says they’ll tell people soon.
Monday, a special seminar on family and marriages starts at school. Twenty-four juniors and seniors, somehow all in the same social studies class taught by Mr. Jaworski, get paired up in fake marriages and are given folders with information about their family and finances. Liz is paired with Bruce, Jess is paired with Winston, Lila is paired with Bill Chase, Olivia is paired with Jeffrey, and Maria is paired with Michael. Jess is dismayed to find out she has a part-time job at a beauty parlor, Winston drives a bus, and they have seven kids. Lila is a short-order cook and Bill is unemployed. Liz is a teacher and Bruce is a doctor. Maria finds out she’s a housewife and Michael’s a vet. Maria complains that she’s the only “wife” who didn’t get a real job, and Michael says being a housewife is a job. Reading it through the lens of today, it’s unfortunate to see that Maria not having a job = housewife while Bill not having a job = unemployed.
After class, Jess, Lila, and Cara discuss Maria’s engagement and decide they should have a surprise party to celebrate. Lila says she’ll host it that Saturday at her mansion.
After school, Maria tells Winston that she can’t meet with him about his campaign on Tuesday because Michael needs her to help him pick out a birthday present for his sister. Winston is disappointed, but Maria assures him that she’ll meet him as usual on Thursday. Michael comes up to them, nods at Winston, puts his arm around Maria, and whisks her away.
Jess asks Liz if Jeffrey’s the kind of guy she can see herself marrying in the future. Liz doesn’t answer and instead says that she doesn’t think they’ve ever talked about the kind of man they hope to marry. She’s saying “no” without coming right out and saying it, am I right?! Jess is distracted by Liz’s non-answer and says she just hopes she doesn’t end up marrying Winston in real life. Lila shows up so they can work on plans for Saturday’s surprise party. She tells the twins that Prince Albert is being spoiled and that she hopes they’ll send him to obedience school.
Michael tells Maria that his sister is coming to his tennis match on Thursday so Maria will need to take off her engagement ring while there. Maria says she thought the match was on Saturday, and Michael says the date got changed. Maria tells him she can’t make it because she’s helping Winston with his speech then, and Michael gets annoyed because he thinks she’s spending too much time with Winston. Maria accuses him of acting possessive, and Michael says he’s not being possessive, he just really wants Maria at his match and that he needs her more than Winston does. Maria suggests that they tell their parents about the engagement so she can openly wear her ring and he says not yet. She agrees to be at his match and says maybe she can find someone to take over his campaign for her. Michael says that’d be great because he doesn’t like the way Winston’s been looking at her lately. Maria wants to defend Winston but she doesn’t want to fight with Michael, so she drops it and figures that Michael has a right to demand more of her time now that they’re engaged.
The next day, Maria tells Winston she can’t help him with his campaign anymore and lies that it’s because she wants to start taking piano lessons again and the only classes available are on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Maria tells him she’ll try to find him a replacement since she can’t help him anymore.
Winston mopes about this and tells Liz that he thinks Maria quit his campaign because Michael doesn’t like him. Liz realizes that Winston has a crush on Maria, and Winston gets embarrassed. He says he feels like a fool and that he’d kinda thought Maria might like him too but then she got engaged to Michael.
That evening, Maria calls Liz and tells her that she quit helping Winston with his campaign because Michael didn’t like it. Maria says that Michael’s changed now that they’re engaged. Liz says that she doesn’t see why getting engaged should change the way a couple behaves, and Maria tells her that Liz wouldn’t understand since her relationship with Jeffrey is so new. As if Maria’s relationship with Michael dates back more than a few months…. They’ve probably been dating equally as long as Liz and Jeffrey. Maria asks Liz if she’ll take over and handle Winston’s campaign. Liz is uncomfortable and says that if Winston wanted her help, he would have asked her and, besides, she’s way too busy. Maria asks if she has another reason for not wanting to help, and Liz says she doesn’t think she should get involved because Maria made a commitment to Winston and should follow through. Maria accuses Liz of not understanding what it’s like to be engaged and says that Liz is just jealous that Maria is engaged! Maria slams the phone down, a very satisfying gesture that the current generation will never understand.
At school, each “couple” is assigned a problem to work through. Maria and Michael are told their son has been caught shoplifting. Michael says they need to tell their son to get in line or else and that Michael will see to it that he doesn’t do it again. Maria asks if Michael means he’d hit their son and Michael says why not? Maria is understandably horrified and says Michael’s attitude is probably why the kid is acting out in the first place and that she’ll take the kid to a psychologist. Michael tells her that’s dumb and that she’s taking this way too seriously. All of this makes is very obvious to everyone except the two of them that 1) Michael is not husband material, let alone boyfriend material, and 2) they have not thought through this whole engagement/marriage thing.
Michael tells Maria that if it means that much to her, she can keep working on Winston’s campaign (how gracious of him). She’s thrilled by his generosity (the bar is low) and shares the good news with Winston, who’s very happy.
Lila, Cara, and Jess invite Michael and Maria to the surprise engagement party that Saturday. Lila is completely obvious about the invite, but neither Michael nor Maria seem to pick up on anything being odd.
Saturday, Michael picks Maria up for the party. She says she told her parents that Winston was driving her to the party. Michael gets angry that she used Winston as a fake date for the night. Maria tells him that she’s tired of lying and that she wants to tell their parents about their engagement, but he says they should wait just a little while longer. Ughhh. This guy!! I don’t know why he even bothered proposing, but I guess he liked the idea of marking Maria as his property. Maria echoes my thought (well, some of my thoughts) and says that she thought the whole point of getting engaged was to show their parents how serious they are about each other; if so, they need to actually tell their parents about the engagement. Michael gets mad and accuses her of being tired of being engaged and says she probably wishes they’d break up so she could go out with Winston for real. Michael is the king of gaslighting.
They go to the party despite being angry with each other because they’d told Lila they’d be there and don’t want to be late. To their surprise, it’s an engagement party and they’re the guests of honor! The Droids play “The Wedding March” when they walk in. They’re both miserable but feel like they need to pretend to be happy and get through the evening.
Elsewhere in town, Caroline Pearce’s mom runs into Maria’s parents. Mrs. Pearce congratulates them on Maria’s engagement and says she hadn’t called to offer her congratulations earlier because she wasn’t sure if there’d been a public announcement. At face value, it seems like Mrs. Pearce is actually supportive or understanding of this engagement (and true, it was probably more normal for her own generation to get engaged while this young), but considering that her daughter is Sweet Valley High’s biggest gossip, I assume her real motivation in offering congratulations is to bait the Santellis into sharing how they really feel about it. The Santellis are horrified to hear that Maria is supposedly engaged to Michael!! Honestly, hearing anyone is engaged to Michael is horrifying.
Back at the party, Jess insists on dancing with Michael. Winston asks Maria to dance. They have a nice time together, and Maria is sad when the song ends. Before the next song starts, Michael takes the microphone and makes an announcement to everyone at the party: after thanking everyone for the party, he says he’s decided to run for Student Council PTA representative and that with Maria’s help, he knows he can win it! Maria is appalled and thinks that it doesn’t even make sense for a senior like Michael to run. Winston is shocked and tells Maria he can take a hint. He runs off. Maria wants to take off after him, but Michael grabs her arm and tells her to let Winston go. Maria tells Michael that he’s being a jerk and that she made a promise to Winston about his campaign. Michael says she made a promise to him. Maria says she’s kept all the promises she made to Michael and that he’s the one who doesn’t want to tell their parents about the engagement despite promising that they would. Michael goes pale and tells her that if she chases after Winston, it’s over between them. Maria gives him back the engagement ring and follows Winston. YES!!
The Santellis go to the Harris’s house and pick up Michael’s parents. It’s the first time they’ve been all together in years, and they are surprisingly happy to be reunited, even though it’s because their kids might be secretly engaged. The four of them go to Lila’s house and find Michael. They asks him if it’s true that he and Maria are engaged and he says no, not anymore. He explains everything.
Lila is annoyed that the engagement ended because she spent a lot of time and money on the party. She tells the Droids to play something upbeat so everyone will dance. Gotta love how Lila is always ready to pivot: nothing, absolutely nothing, should get in the way of a good party! Liz tells Jeffrey to save her a dance because she wants to go talk to Michael. Liz just can’t resist the opportunity to get involved with someone else’s life, even if she barely knows them. She comforts Michael, and he acknowledges that maybe the fact that he was forbidden to be with Maria is what made their relationship seem romantic. He says that clearly they didn’t know each other well enough to get married and that he wants to start over. Liz kisses him on the cheek (why is this a thing in these books?!) and tells him she’s around if he needs a shoulder to cry on or a friend.
Maria catches up with Winston and tells him that she had nothing to do with Michael’s announcement and that she’s still committed to helping Winston with his campaign. She also says she’s no longer engaged. Winston is relieved to hear this, and the next thing you know, the two of them are kissing! They go back to the party and Michael accepts Maria and Winston as a new couple and shakes Maria’s hand, saying they can still be friends. She kisses him on the cheek (again with this!).
The family and marriage seminar ends. Students give presentations on what they’ve learned, and Maria and Michael talk seriously about how there needs to be love and trust for a successful marriage. Everyone bursts into applause!
Later, Winston gives his campaign speech and gets his own round of applause. The audience chants his name and jumps up and down, and it’s obvious to everyone that he’s going to win.
Up next: Aaron Dallas seems to have an anger management problem!