Time elapsed in this book: 2 weeks
Length of their junior year: 2 years, 2 weeks
Jessica’s love interest: None
Entertainment rating: 5/10
Another book about minor characters in Sweet Valley. This one features Dana Larson, lead singer for the Droids, trying to adjust to her cousin Sally moving in. It’s mostly a dud, although there’s an over-the-top scene near the end that I enjoyed. However! The B-plot in here features the introduction of Prince Albert, the Wakefield’s new golden Labrador pup!
The cover is okay. Sally looks super uncomfortable (accurate, considering she’s uncomfortable throughout most of this book) and has a very odd expression on her face as she looks in a mirror. I’m not sure what exactly seems off about her face, but something is weird. Dana, meanwhile, looks gorgeous and has a totally funky hairstyle! Her clothes are the opposite of Sally’s stuffy high-buttoned dress shirt, and her oversized orange puffy jacket looks so very 80’s.
The book opens at band practice for the Droids. Dana tells her bandmates that her cousin Sally is moving in. Dana’s embarrassed about Sally’s backstory, which she doesn’t share: Sally’s dad walked out on the family, her mom got remarried and then gave Sally up into the foster system (WTF???), and Sally’s been bouncing around from home to home ever since. She was even held back a year in school since she’d missed so many classes, making her the same grade as Dana now. The bandmates tell Dana she should invite Sally to watch them practice.
Dana goes home and talks to her brother, Jeremy, who’s really angry about Sally’s impending arrival. Apparently their parents moved him into the attic so Sally could have his bedroom, and Jeremy is furious. He says the last thing he needs is another sister.
Meanwhile, at the Wakefield house, Jess comes home with a puppy!! A guy had a box of puppies and was giving them away, and Jess couldn’t resist the cute golden Labrador. Liz reminds Jess of her disastrous attempt to dogsit in middle school, and Jess says that was ages ago and that she loves dogs now. They seem to really be referencing the Sweet Valley Twins series regularly around this time in Sweet Valley High, since the spin-off series recently started being published, and I love it. There was a whole Sweet Valley Twins book called Sneaking Out that I remember vividly about Jess watching a dog for Mrs. Bramble! Well done with the tie-in references. Jess shows the puppy to Liz, who immediately falls in love too. How could anyone resist?! Jess says she knows she should have asked their parents first, but since she didn’t, her plan is to hide the puppy for now to prove she can care for him. Liz agrees not to say anything.
Sally arrives in Sweet Valley. She’s incredibly nervous and really wants this home to work out since she’s already gone through so many foster homes and doesn’t know what will happen to her if she can’t stay with the Larsons. Mr. and Mrs. Larson are very welcoming to Sally, as is Dana, but Jeremy isn’t even home to greet her. No explanation as to why it took them so long to actually take Sally into their home; also no word as to why Mr. Larson’s brother (I assume) was such a terrible parent or if they’re even still in contact with him. The questions I have, reading this as an adult, are not the same questions I had reading it as a kid. Dana asks if Sally’s into music and tells her she’s the lead singer of a band. Sally’s impressed. Dana also offers to give Sally a makeover and help her buy new clothes at the mall. Sally agrees with whatever Dana says, wanting to make a good impression. Jeremy eventually comes home and gives Sally a hard time about being in “his” room. Sally says she’s happy to take the attic so he can have his room back, but Dana tells her not to worry about it.
Sally and Dana go to the mall, and Dana helps Sally pick out some new clothes. Elsewhere in the mall, Jess and Liz buy a collar for their new puppy at the pet store. They run into Dana and Sally after exiting the store, and Jess tries to hide the bag with their purchase. Dana insists on knowing what they’d bought, since the twins are being so cagey, and finally Jess shows them the dog collar and says it’s part of a punk outfit she’s putting together and recommends that Dana try wearing one sometime.
Sunday afternoon, Liz and Jess are debating what to name their puppy and settle on Prince Albert because it’s so regal. I always thought this name was so cute when I was a kid. As an adult, I now know it’s also the name of a genital piercing. Not sure which name came about first, but YIKES to that overlap. Anyway, the twins hear a car arriving. Their parents are home! They panic and try to clean everything up in the kitchen, and their panic makes Prince Albert pee. Jess hurries to hide the dog. When their parents come in, Mrs. Wakefield finds Liz trying to clean up the puddle on the floor and asks if she spilled something. Is Mrs. Wakefield that oblivious that she can’t smell urine?! Seems like it’d be obvious what the puddle was!
Monday after school, Sally goes to her first Droids practice. She isn’t really into helping the band, but she doesn’t want to disappoint Dana and will do anything to make her happy. At home that night, Mr. and Mrs. Larson ask Sally how her day was. She says it was good but overwhelming. Sally is very complimentary to everyone and offers to help clean up. Her aunt and uncle are happy with how helpful she is. They tell her she should feel free to use their car anytime and then tell Dana she could learn a few things from Sally. Dana is annoyed and tells them as much, but they dig in and says she shouldn’t be offended. They are displaying some terrible parenting on so many fronts. Not only are they insulting Dana, but it took them years to reach out about having Sally move in with them instead of letting her bounce around in foster care.
Jeremy’s friend Mark shows up at the door and meets Sally. Mark’s clearly very interested in her and chats with Sally, even asking her to stick around while he’s hanging out with Jeremy. Sally has fun at first, then realizes how angry her mere presence makes Jeremy, so she makes an excuse and quickly leaves.
Jess decides she can’t keep Prince Albert a complete secret so she tells Lila about him and brings Lila over to meet the little cutie, who’s been camped out in the basement. Lila falls in love with Prince Albert too because how could she not? She says she can’t believe that the Wakefield parents haven’t noticed anything yet but also notes that she could probably have ten puppies at home and her own dad wouldn’t even notice. What a sad commentary about Lila’s home life. And an incorrect commentary about the Wakefield parenting, because I absolutely can believe Mr. and Mrs. Wakefield haven’t noticed anything. Unfortunately, while in the basement, apparently Prince Albert chewed through something on the washing machine, so now Jess needs to call a repairman to fix it.
Jeffrey comes over for dinner. Things are going fine until they hear a weird noise. It’s Prince Albert! Jess claims she left the radio on. Then Mrs. Wakefield mentions needing to do laundry. Jess immediately says she’ll do it instead, figuring she’ll do it at the neighbor’s house since their own machine is broken. Liz brings Jeffrey downstairs to meet the puppy. He’s astounded at Jessica’s scheme.
Mark calls the Larsons and asks for Sally. Jeremy is furious to hear that his best friend wants to talk to his cousin. Mark invites Sally out for ice cream, and Sally says no, not wanting Jeremy to be even more angry with her. She cries herself to sleep that night, thinking that if Mark doesn’t leave her alone, Jeremy will never forgive her, and then she’ll be forced to leave Sweet Valley forever! This is just so sad.
Sally visits the Oracle office and talks with Liz. She wants to join the newspaper but doesn’t think she’ll have time since she’s helping with the Droids despite not wanting to be part of a band. Liz encourages her to pursue her own interests, and Sally finds herself confiding in Liz about everything. Liz says she’s sure they all want her to stay in Sweet Valley and that she needs to give it time. Sally feels a lot better having confided in Liz. I’m surprised that the cover of this book didn’t feature Liz standing behind Sally, giving Sally her trademarked sympathetic shoulder pat.
When Sally gets home, she tells Dana that she talked to Liz and that they’re their way to becoming friends, figuring that’ll impress her cousin. Dana tells Sally that she can’t stop her if she wants to be friends with Liz but that she thought Sally had already committed to helping the Droids instead of chasing a busy social life. This whole interaction feels so weird and not in keeping with Dana’s established character, but whatever. Sally just agrees with Dana and says of course she’s committed to the band. Liz calls Sally later to invite her to a movie and Sally tells her she’d like to go but can’t.
Over dinner, Jess asks her parents about getting a dog. They aren’t into the idea and say she’s not responsible enough to take care of it. Jess offers to prove that she is, but they say there’s no way she could prove that without actually getting a dog. Jess is frustrated.
The next morning, Liz wakes up to Prince Albert licking her face. She and Jess take Prince Albert out on a walk… and he slips free from his collar and runs away! They chase him for five minutes, and then he disappears from view. They are devastated.
Monday morning, Mrs. Larson tells Sally that Mr. Larson flew to San Francisco for a meeting and that they’ll have news to share with her once he gets home. Sally is convinced that this news will be an announcement that she can’t stay in Sweet Valley anymore.
After school, Jeremy drives Dana and Sally home. On the way, he slows down to pick up some rough-looking hitchhikers. Sally is appalled, as am I, and tells him not to pick them up, saying she knows what kind of guys they are. I’m not sure if Jeremy is more of a jackass or a dumbass, but he’s an ass either way and tells Sally that he’s a big boy who can make his own decisions. Naturally, his decision is a disaster. The two hitchhikers are indeed scummy and start leering at the girls. Dana tells them they’re only driving a few blocks further (begging the question, why did Jeremy pick up hitchhikers if he was only driving a short distance more?!) but they say that’s not acceptable and that they want to be taken to Kelly’s, the seedy bar. Jeremy takes them there, assuming he can just drop them off and then leave. But the two guys won’t get out of the car without Jeremy’s wallet. Jeremy gives them his wallet and tells them to get out. They say they will…. but not without the girls!
Dana is terrified. Sally finds her voice and tells the hitchhikers that Dana’s a bore and that she’ll go to Kelly’s with them instead. The sleazy guys find this acceptable, and Sally tells Jeremy and Dana to go home because she has some partying to do. It is obscenely obvious to everyone except Jeremy and Dana that Sally is putting on this act to save the two of them. Sally disappears into the bar with the guys, and Dana tells her brother they can’t just leave her. Jeremy says, “She said she wanted to stay. You heard her.” I just can’t with this guy. He is such a complete and total dumbass.
They get back on the highway to drive home and suddenly Dana has the belated realization that the rest of us already had about Sally going into Kelly’s to save Dana and Jeremy. She tells Jeremy this, and he can’t believe it!! He feels like a jerk! It’s about time. They decide they have to go back to Kelly’s but can’t go back alone so they go to Mark’s house, since he lives nearby, and get him for backup. Ken Matthews and John Pfeifer are also there, so they all pile into the car and head to Kelly’s.
In Kelly’s, they go over to the table where Sally is sitting with Al and Jim (what generic names) and Jeremy says they’re taking Sally home. The guys ask who Sally is to him, and Jeremy says, “My sister!” Sally is moved by this proclamation and starts to cry. Al and Jim are disgusted by this display of emotion and tell the kids to get out of there. Mark demands that they give Jeremy back his wallet first, which they do, and then the high schoolers leave.
They drive home, all now determined to fight to let Sally stay in Sweet Valley. At home, Mr. and Mrs. Larson say they have important news to share. Sally says she understands and that she’s sorry it didn’t work out, which confuses them. Their big news is that they plan to adopt Sally! Mr. Larson went to San Francisco to meet with child welfare people and get everything arranged. Sally is overwhelmed. She has a home! Although I’m pretty sure we don’t ever hear about her again in this series.
Elsewhere in Sweet Valley, Mr. Wakefield comes home with Prince Albert! Apparently he and Mrs. Wakefield listened to Jessica’s pleas for a pet and decided to get one after all, so he went to the shelter and happened to pick out Prince Albert! The twins are thrilled at this unbelievable turn of events! Prince Albert has a home too!
Up next: Maria Santelli and Michael Harris get engaged!