Time elapsed in this book: 1 week
Length of their junior year: 1 year, 6 months
Jessica’s love interest: Hans, an exchange student from Germany
Entertainment rating: 8/10
Another Super Edition! Now that the concept of a Super Edition has been established, these big books are coming fast and furiously, as there were only 3 regular books in between the last Super Edition, Perfect Summer, and this one, which takes place over Christmas. Who knows how time works in these books?! Moreover, when it’s this entertaining, who cares?!
This is one of the most memorable winter break Super Editions for me. Suzanne Devlin returns! Todd returns! What’s not to love? The cover is pretty perfect too: Liz opens a gift while Jess, looking stunning, watches over her shoulder. I was so excited to reread this, and it did not disappoint.
It’s the day before Christmas vacation starts, and everyone at SVH is ready for the break. After school, the entire student body gathers in the gym to get their Secret Santa assignments. Apparently, this is open to all students, although the only students we hear about are the usual junior class crowd plus Bruce. For a week, everyone is supposed to give their person gifts while also receiving gifts from their own Secret Santa. Then, a week later, everyone goes to a big Christmas party and reveals their identities at midnight. Bruce has offered to host the Christmas dance at his mansion. How will the entire SVH student body fit in Bruce’s mansion? It’s big but not that big. And why have a school-based Secret Santa take place outside of school? You’re just supposed to hope you know where your Secret Santa lives so you can deliver gifts? I have a lot of questions.
Liz is helping Mr. Collins organize the Secret Santa, although her mind is elsewhere because Todd is coming to visit soon and staying with Ken. It’s a little weird to think his parents were like, sure, go back to Sweet Valley alone for Christmas so you can hang out with your old friends instead of being with your family! But this is Sweet Valley, so okay. Ken tells Liz, “Todd will be all the Secret Santa you can handle.” Liz thinks, I hope so. I hope so too!
Jess tells Liz she wants Hans, a new German exchange student whom she has a crush on, to be her Secret Santa. Liz draws Aaron Dallas. Jess draws Bruce, which she complains about to Liz on the way home, saying she can’t possibly get Bruce anything he doesn’t already have. True points. When they get home, they’re greeted by Steven, who says he has terrible news to share: he just found out that Suzanne Devlin is going to arrive on Sunday and will be staying with them for two weeks!
We get a recap of Suzanne’s last visit in Too Good to Be True and how she pretended to be nice while really lying, stealing, and flinging accusations all around until she was unmasked. Liz says there’s nothing they can do about this, but Steven and Jessica are determined to tell their parents it’s a terrible idea to have Suzanne visit. They do so over dinner, but none of their arguments sway their parents. Mr. and Mrs. Wakefield say that Suzanne recently went through an ordeal and is determined to visit and make things up to them, so there’s nothing they can do about it. What a crock. They could totally have said no. They are not required to host everyone who wants to visit, especially if the visitor was a terrible guest the last time around.
Jess and Steven decide that Liz should call Suzanne and tell her not to visit, since Liz is the only one who interacted with her previously. Liz agrees, and Jess says she should call collect. I love this minor detail! Liz calls and tells Suzanne that she’ll be bored and lonely here because everyone is so busy, but Suzanne is enthusiastic and says she’s going to visit and Liz won’t regret it. Liz was absolutely the wrong person to call. Jess would have been so much better at directly telling Suzanne no one wants her here.
On Saturday, Liz debates what to get Todd for Christmas and confesses to Steven that she’s a little nervous because they’ve been so far apart for so long, so she doesn’t know where they stand. Jess appears and they’re shocked to see that she’s dressed like an elf from head to toe. The description of Jess is so phenomenal that I have to quote it:
She was wearing kelly-green tights and green slippers with curled-up toes and bells jangling from their tips. She had made a strange little suit out of a green plastic garbage bag, cutting leg holes in the bottom and arm holes in the side and stapling the whole thing up at the shoulders. Something-probably newspaper, from the look of it-was being used as stuffing to make her look round. Underneath the sack she wore a red long-sleeved t-shirt. There was green paint on her face.
INCREDIBLE. Jess says she’s covering for Cara, who was supposed to be an elf at the mall, helping Santa pass out gifts. Cara’s sick, so Jess is now the elf in the morning; in the afternoon, she’s going to the Miss Christmastime pageant and planning to win. She opens the front door, and there’s a gift for her sitting on the front porch: a wooden jewel box that plays Fur Elise when open. Jess is thrilled and convinced it has to be from Hans.
Being an elf is exhausting, and by the afternoon, Jess is ready for her replacement to arrive. She asks Santa where the replacement is, and Santa says there’s no replacement. Jess is the only elf, and they’re there until five. Jess calls Cara to rage about how she’s going to miss the Miss Christmastime pageant, and Cara says she didn’t know this would happen. Apparently Lila convinced Cara to have Jess take over as an elf, saying it’d be a funny prank. In reality, Lila had her eye on winning Miss Christmastime without competition from Jess. Jess is furious but goes back to Santa and finishes up the day. She tells him about missing the pageant and how she won’t be in the parade, so he invites her to ride on his float in the parade as an elf! Jess agrees and thinks she has a perfect way to get back at Lila, by scheming her own way onto the Miss Christmastime float and forcing Lila to be an elf on Santa’s float!
That night, Mrs. Wakefield tells Jess she needs to clean her room because she wants to give Suzanne Jessica’s room while she’s here and says Jess will have to bunk in Liz’s room. Jess is rightfully pissed. More terrible parenting from Ned and Alice. Jess agrees to get the room ready for Suzanne and figures she’ll short-sheet the bed and make sure all the lights have burned out bulbs.
That night, the twins go out to the Dairi Burger with friends. Aaron Dallas is there with Patsy Webber, his new girlfriend. I’m mostly shocked to see that Patsy has made an appearance after she moved back to Sweet Valley in Heartbreaker and Liz found out Patsy used to date Todd! There’s no mention in here about their old romance, and there’s also no mention about whether Patsy is still in touch with Todd now that he’s moved to Vermont. I have questions. Especially since Liz seems so at ease around her now. Also, when did Patsy and Aaron start dating?!? (Why am I even trying to make sense of the timeline?) Enid is also there with some college dude named Chip Ettelson who she’s dating, in case anyone cared. The twins tell the group that Suzanne is coming to visit, and everyone is appalled. They promise to all become her Secret Santas and give nothing but bad gifts to her while she’s here.
The SVH swim team comes into the Dairi Burger wearing nothing but their swimsuits. I assume these must be Speedos, although probably these bathing suits aren’t quite as small as Bruce’s. They serenade Olivia Davidson with Silent Night and tell her it’s a gift from her Secret Santa.
Mrs. Wakefield goes to the airport to pick up Suzanne, wishing that someone else had wanted to join her. She doesn’t know what she’s going to say to Suzanne, but I have no sympathy since this is a problem of her own making. She feels like she had no choice but to give Suzanne another choice after what Suzanne’s parents had shared… vague foreshadowing! Suzanne appears and is even thinner than before, but don’t worry, she’s still “outstandingly beautiful.” Whew. She’s very gracious to Mrs. Wakefield and says she knows she has her work cut out for her but she just had to come visit and try to make things up to everyone. She already sent Mr. Collins a letter and he said he forgave her. He’s a lot more charitable than I’d have been in his shoes.
The twins and Steven are both rude to Suzanne when she gets to the house. Liz feels uncomfortable for Suzanne, but Jess and Steven don’t care. Suzanne tries to ignore it. That night, Todd calls and Liz tells him Suzanne is visiting. He is shocked too, but not for the reasons Liz thinks. About a month earlier, Todd went on a school skiing trip and his friend Jerry started hitting on a beautiful girl there…. it was Suzanne! She was shocked to see Todd again. Suzanne told Todd how she’d been angry with her parents and acted out in Sweet Valley because of that and felt awful about it. Todd forgave her and realized he was attracted to Suzanne and wanted to kiss her…. but then Suzanne asked how Liz was and the moment passed. Todd doesn’t tell Liz any of this.
The next morning, Suzanne tries to talk to Liz and apologize for her last visit. Liz is annoyed by anything Suzanne says or does but doesn’t want to admit it. Jess appears and says her new cream-colored blouse is missing. She gives Suzanne a pointed look that clearly says she blames Suzanne for this. Suzanne knows exactly what Jess is getting at but doesn’t say anything. Liz thinks Jess is laying it on too thick. The doorbell rings, and it’s a bouquet of daisies for Jess from her secret Santa. She is thrilled!
Todd comes over a while later. Suzanne didn’t realize he’d be in town, and when she sees him, she drops the vase of flowers in her hands, bursts into tears, and runs away. Even Todd doesn’t know what to make of that. He finds her later and Suzanne says she thinks she was just surprised to see him. Todd tells her he didn’t tell Liz about running into Suzanne in Vermont and would appreciate it if she didn’t mention anything either. Suzanne says of course, whatever Todd thinks is best… Jess overhears the end of this conversation and thinks Suzanne’s in love with Todd, which disgusts her, so she calls Winston and Aaron and asks them to be special “Secret Santas” to Suzanne and ruin her stay here. They agree.
Tuesday night, Liz expects to finally have a romantic evening alone with Todd, but they end up going to the Beach Disco to hang out with Ken and then can’t seem to leave because everyone else wants to see Todd too. The Droids are playing (of course) and have written a special song in honor of Todd’s return called I’ll Wait For You, so it’s a good thing he showed up to hear it! Todd gives Liz a quick kiss on the porch after driving her home. So far, that’s the most romantic moment they’ve had.
Winston and Aaron send Suzanne a ransom-note looking letter that says SUZY DEVLIN, GO HOME. FROM YOUR SECRET SANTAS. It makes her so upset that she cries to Liz about it. I mean, this is not an especially clever letter, but honestly, what did she expect? That anyone would be happy to see her? Liz is sympathetic and says she just has to keep working to convince people she’s changed. Suzanne says she’s going to call Aaron and try to take him out to lunch.
Jess figures Suzanne is trying to steal Aaron from Patsy, so she calls Aaron and suggests that he invite her to a party somewhere else on Friday night, before the big Christmas party at Bruce’s. Then, instead of picking her up, Aaron should give her the address of this old house that has a reputation of being haunted. Jess figures after this, Suzanne will realize no one wants to spend time with her and she’ll leave. She briefly feels bad about this plan because she thinks Suzanne might be sick, based on her not eating a ton lately and taking a lot of pills, but then she thinks that Suzanne is trying to get with Todd and feels fine about it.
Later that week, Liz confides in Enid that things aren’t the same as they used to be with Todd. She says she thinks she’d be okay if Todd met someone else!
Thursday evening, the Wakefields decorate their Christmas tree. While putting up ornaments, Suzanne faints! The kids ask what’s up, and Mr. and Mrs. Wakefield say that if Suzanne wanted them to know, she’d tell them. Jess figures that Suzanne is faking this the way she faked almost everything on her last visit.
Friday night, Suzanne dresses up like “the heroine of a Victorian novel” and gets ready to go out with Aaron. She is about to take some new pills that she just picked up at the post office but notices there’s no note from the doctor about any sort of precautions. This sounds like the shadiest thing ever, since pills should be coming from a pharmacy and not a doctor and they’re always marked with all sorts of warnings. Suzanne can’t get ahold of the doctor, so she leaves a message and then pops a pill, figuring they’re probably similar to her last ones.
The twins, Steven, Todd, and Suzanne open a bottle of champagne that Mr. and Mrs. Wakefield left for them to enjoy before the party. What parents don’t want sixteen year olds to pregame at home before a Christmas party? They all have a little champagne. The phone rings, and it’s Aaron, telling Suzanne that he has a flat tire so can she pick him up? He gives her the address of the haunted house. Suzanne leaves. Soonafter, Mr. and Mrs. Wakefield come home.
Suzanne’s doctor calls. Since she’s out, the doctor talks to Mr. Wakefield and gives him information about Suzanne’s medications (privacy? what privacy?). Mr. Wakefield gets super worried and asks if Suzanne had any of the champagne. They say yes, and Mr. Wakefield tells them that the doctor said the medication he sent is really strong and that she can’t have anything to drink while on it because a single drink could kill her! I’m not sure who’s the biggest idiot here: Suzanne, for taking medicine without knowing what it was; Dr. Harrison, for sending medicine without any information attached and then sharing info with someone other than his patient; or Mr. and Mrs. Wakefield, for allowing Suzanne to stay and giving them all champagne without any kind of supervision.
They all drive around looking for Suzanne. Mr. Wakefield decides the time is right to share Suzanne’s medical information and says she’s been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis and may eventually be confined to a wheelchair! Liz can’t bear the thought of someone as beautiful and vivacious as Suzanne in a wheelchair. They find the car Suzanne was driving: it tumbled off the road! Suzanne’s taken to the emergency room!
Todd feels guilty about Suzanne’s accident because he thinks that if he’d been honest about how he felt about her, then he would have been able to spend the evening with Suzanne instead of her being tricked by Aaron and Jess. He now hopes that Suzanne recovers so he can tell her how he feels before it’s too late! A totally non-awkward situation, trying to date your ex-girlfriend’s unwanted houseguest. Also, bravo to Todd for making this all about himself.
The doctor says that it’s a miracle, but Suzanne is going to live! She has some bruises and a minor concussion. The doctor says they need to let her rest, so the twins leave the hospital and head over to Bruce’s for the Christmas party. Todd and Liz have a heart-to-heart at the party and he acknowledges his attraction to Suzanne. They agree that their relationship has changed into a friendship but that they will always be there for each other. Liz has a feeling that he and Suzanne will work things out, although I have a feeling we’ll never hear anything more about them dating after this book.
Jess finds out that her Secret Santa is Winston. She’s livid! She’s even more livid when she finds out that Hans was Lila’s Secret Santa!
Mr. Collins is at Bruce’s party (I guess because it’s a school-related event? Still weird…). He takes the microphone and tells everyone that Suzanne didn’t have a Secret Santa but would probably love it if everyone wanted to start being nice Secret Santas to her. The crowd cheers. I don’t know why anyone cares since they barely know her, and what they do know isn’t good.
Saturday is the parade, and Jess manages to get on the float as Miss Christmastime! She left Lila with the elf costume so Lila had to be on the float with Santa, dressed as an elf. Later that day, the twins go to the hospital to visit Suzanne again. She’s doing better. The twins beg for Suzanne’s forgiveness, and she begs for theirs. The doctor comes in and says they ran more tests and talked to her original doctor and they’ve discovered that she was actually misdiagnosed! She doesn’t have MS! She had mono! It’s a Christmas miracle! A bunch of people from SVH rush in and start to sing Silent Night. It’s the perfect Christmas!